FNwFs

on Thursday, October 23, 2014
On a brighter note, i spent the whole night yesterday (Wednesday) with my beloved classmates. I love them to bits.

We had a poll earlier this week on where shall we eat for this mini gathering so we decided we want to have the gathering at The Banquet.

All my life, i've heard plenty of good or decent reviews about The Banquet. My beloved grandparents live nearby the place so ever so often, i'd always end up passing by the place and thinking "what the hell is that shit. why is it orange?? could have picked a better color but whatever lah kan? Different people different taste hahaha"

And so i was extremely EXCITED to try out the place but meh.. it was a letdown. Food was blergh, no DIY grilling place and the drinks are expensive as hell.

But whatever, at least i had fun with my friends.

This is me auditioning for Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2014 (on ABC later this year y'all)

Photoshoot with YB Elvinson

Since i was the only one that wore long pants, i decided to pull up my pants and make myself look more feminine <3 #GirlPower

With the funniest guy in my class. Also look at how ah beng my hair is.

With the Chicken. The guy that taught me the word for Masturbation in Mandarin and Cantonese. 

With everyone. Look at Rauwerd hahahah the lady that took this pic was probably too turnt to even include Rauwerd in! 

Us again.

Then some of us went back home and the other half WENT CLUBBING Y'ALL. 

I'm just kidding, i don't go clubbing haha but we did went for a karaoke session! Not much picture was taken cos hell i was in my Beyonce mode, i ain't got TIME for pics!

I DRANK. Haha i'm just kidding k can you see the half empty glass of Mango juice? Yup, that's mine. Keeping it clean aha. Also you clearly can see who's the star in the pic (me).

That's all i guess hahahaha byezz 


Feelings

Hello,

Growing up, i have never fallen in love with anyone that would make my heart race. I have, however, liked a few people but it was nothing serious.

But lately, i feel like i am changing. Physically and emotionally speaking. I am starting to hate how i look like, starting to spend lots of money and time just to look extra decent. I am starting to feel extremely lonely whenever i'm alone despite being surrounded by my beloved friends and family. I feel like i'm missing something in my life. Something that would make my life feel more complete and appreciated.

I don't want to sound extremely desperate but i think i want to be loved and to love someone that suits me.

I rarely feel like this, but i think all those years of being the only friend without a significant other is finally getting into me. IDK. Maybe i've always wanted to be in a relationship but am too scared to admit thus having my mind pushing the thought down my anus (hahahah tetak pls lawak tok).

Oh well, maybe this is just a phase. it'll get over soon, right?

Hope so.

Future

on Saturday, April 12, 2014
Okay, so i just asked a Biotech graduate about his current life after degree and if it was easy for him to find a proper job.

And as expected, he said no and Biotech is a dead field in Malaysia.

And this stresses the fuck out of me now.

Like what the fuck am i doing with my life? Why am i paying 70k ringgit for a useless fucking degree? What's the point of all of these struggles if in the end i will be nothing to this world?

I am so disappointed. Especially thinking about how i could have been doing a better major now instead of this bullcrap! I am so so worried of the future.

Get me some intoxicating shit i am tired of life.

Resurrection

on Thursday, April 10, 2014
Hello everyone, it has been a while kan?

So yeah i'm doing fine with school! I don't it as much as i used to back in late-2012 though, which is good!

Talking about school, i've always had this really bad habit of being jealous with everyone.

Earlier today, i was taking a break from studying about lame-ass DNA replication and decided to check my facebook. Then i saw an ex-senior from my old high school that is currently majoring in Pharmacy. Not gonna lie, i've always seen him as an inspiration back then mainly due to his passion with Biology. I loved Biology. Now? Not so much. Well, it is still fairly interesting for me to keep my chin up for another a year and a half but i just don't find it as interesting as learning about Physiology? (or Veterinary)

Well i'm steering a little bit off topic here hahaha! & yeah, he's doing Pharmacy now and i find it to be amazing for someone to still has an ambition in this world. Personally for me, I do not like doing whatever i'm doing right now. Like i said, it's fine. Just, not as fun as i thought it would be. I really, really wanted to become a Veterinarian because i find dealing with animals is far more interesting than humans because they work in different ways than humans. Flashback to 2011, got my UPU results and i was picked to do Diploma in Animals Health. I WAS EXCITED as hell! But i didn't get to choose it due to personal reasons.

I told everyone that i wanted to become a Pharmacist or a Doctor or lol, a Dentist when i enrolled in MAHSA. It was a nice dream, and a very expensive one too. I didn't do well cos i was a lil lazy bitch back then and i don't know, i was being rebellious?

I still ask myself, after i'm done with my Degree, what the hell am i going to do? Will i be able to continue my masters? If i can, where? I wanna do it in a foreign place. I am always so, so, so, jealous of my friends and relatives that studied/currently studying overseas. Mostly because they are extremely smart and got sponsored lol! I know this one guy i used to do online revision with back when i was 17. I don't wanna sound like i'm bragging but we were both equally 'smart' i guess. And now, he's studying well in Korea while i'm rotting in Kuching. A place that i've been in for the past 20 years. I'm sick of it. I have also another friend that i met through my dark K-pop days. She is smart as hell and got 2 offers to study in America! Damn girl, you better take it and werk it.

I always comfort my jealousy by telling myself that i will, and must, study or work overseas after this! I will learn a damn new language, learn a fucking new culture and be fucking responsible with my own life. I will show everyone that i fucking can WERK it better than them and i will let them know who fucking runs this world.

There's a similar trait that i observed from all of these smarty pants. I found out that they are always so religious. I don't know why, but is my non-religious self the main reason for my life? Is it why that i'm always so unhappy and ungrateful with everything? I really do try my best to be happy in everything but, it's just too hard!! I find it harder to communicate with God and i feel so bad for myself because at times i even doubt about my prayers. I feel like my prayers will always be thrown away by the Angels. I just don't know why.

Life is SO SO tiring. Hopefully it will be better next time!

Amin.

Now let's get back to Biochemistry hahaha

Whazzup!

on Thursday, April 11, 2013
Hey guys!

I just got back from KL yesterday night so i guess i will be blogging about the things i did? here goes!

I went to KL last Saturday, with my sis and bro-in-law. We used Malindo Air and it was good! I hope they will be this good forever or be even better in the future! And so, we reached KL and straight away went to Mid Valley for the baby expo thingy.

IT. WAS. MADNESS.

Humans everywhere, ranging from adults to babies to even fetuses(but they are still in the stomach , heh). Right after that, we went for lunch at the Little Penang Cafe and i ordered Assam Laksa (My second favorite laksa). It was amazing!
(sorry for the LQ photos, i have to use my old phone back)
(why would anyone buy this..)

(jam jam jam, nothing new)

Then we went to The Gardens and ate Moo Froyo. The best Froyo evur. I remember making a hard decision whether i should buy some Moo Froyo or just the cheap but good Walls ice cream back when i was studying here. And in the end, i just bought Walls cos cheaper + nice + more volume.

And oh, look at what i found!!


Damn i wanted these cos of iJustine but the price... RM230+? Too much brah.

Then the next day, i went to meet up with my hoes(my foundation friends that i'm close with) at e@Curve. We ate Bulgogi Brothers and it was cool. The food was nice but i've never eaten any Korean food before so i can't judge well. We had this spicy chicken thingy with a lot of vegetable, some side dishes(Lol i hate Kimchi). And oh, Ann brought along a friend of hers from Miri and she was nice. Her English was so good that i felt intimidated and we be speakin Sarawakianzz.

(almost finished!)

(pics from Chris)
(where i at. lol)
I'll update moah latah. babai

Life of a (Future) Scientist?

on Thursday, April 4, 2013
Hey guys!


Do you know what is this picture about? It's about titration!

Yesss, SCIENCE. EXPERIMENTS. FUN.

No, not really. Well it is fun when you are like conducting the experiment. Especially that time when i had to dilute a 10M(this is a concentrated acid) HCl and i felt like an anime character from Full Metal Alchemist. Experiments are fun too actually because you get to communicate with people and work with them properly... but most of the time we just like to chill together, talk about life and eat(i eat oreos whenever i feel hungry during experiment) while waiting for something to "boom" in the beaker... 

The boring/sad/torturing part comes right after the experiment, and that is, the lab report. Lab report is just like writing a summary of a book you read(or an essay) and i know how much some of you hate to do that. Just like lab reports, we have to kinda write out the reasons why A + B produces C? Not gonna lie but most of the time i feel like typing down, 

"IDK, God made it that way so let's just be okay with it.."

Experiments have been a norm in college life. I remember back when i was in High School, i used to  wish that we have to do experiments every. single. week. And somehow, i am doing experiments every week now! It's weird to see how things have changed unexpectedly from like 3 years ago? 

Life is such a mystery 

But it takes too much time to happen

I'd rather be a cat.

Meow.

Bye. 

IDK

on Thursday, March 28, 2013
I don't know what's up with my life lately?
I've been a hell lot more emotional about everything.
Maybe it's the hormone(what hormone i dont have periods), stress or just the underwhelming environment?

Uni life is okay, but there is just something missing.
I go to class regularly
I do my work
I revise(lol)
I eat at college with friends
I talk with a few people

But something feels a bit different.
Different to last year.
Last year (and a half) ago was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Maybe i should stop being stucked in the past
and move on
Knowing that the past was just the past

Something that can't be replaced
Something that can never be experienced again
Something that truly means a lot to me
Something that i love so much.

Time to man up, grow some balls and go out.
Meet new people.
Be confident.
Be Happy.
Be G R A T E F U L.

I just hope everything will be a hell lot more better
as time goes by and
as i grow older